ANOTHER STREAM OF THOUGHTS

ANOTHER STREAM OF THOUGHTS

Why all this happen to me? This question is roaming in mind like a bee around a flower for its juice. This reaction of mine is not important for anyone. Why do I find myself so miserable whenever this question comes into my mind? The arrival of this unwanted restlessness makes me dry towards everybody who is around me. Sometimes I feel that it’s just a result of over thinking which I thought become nature of mine. But I don’t want it to be burdened on me. This feeling is eating up me from inside. You know Jenny sometimes I feel frightened to share this loneliness with someone because they would not understand the psyche of my mind. I am telling you because I know you will not judge me on this. You will remain same but with less empty pages. This is quality of yours I like most. Whenever I fill with combination of many thoughts you show up with another empty page so that I can write down dilemma of my heart. I feel assure that there is someone who considers me human. You are the one who doesn’t stop me to express emotions of mine. At least you don’t think that I can do nothing. You are the one who will be there with same setting of my thoughts whenever I would try to look back. You will not be busy whenever I try to look for someone to share my feelings. I will be free to do so because I consider you my friend. Let me tell you that it feels very terrible when I had to go through two different destinations of thoughts and I had to choose one in between them. At that time whenever I look for some guidance I find no one. May be I am not the one who is going through this same process. May be everybody goes through it but with different form of variables. Now I feel free to share and say that I got you my friend who makes me friend without any expectation and who accepts my illogical perspectives without any argument.

ANOTHER CHANCE

ANOTHER CHANCE

I am afraid of commitments. It takes out every bit of you. I am not poet. I am not a writer. I am just a person who is frightened of love. This feeling to love someone sucked you sometimes. This love comes with a mixture of many feelings. You feel happy when he is with you, in you, into you. But this kind of dependency gives a bitter pain which pinches your heart like a syringe when he is not with you, not into you or left you forever. You feel weak and helpless. And you think you should probably die. There is nothing left in your life. May be this is your first thought after your break ups. But at that time you give it a thought and cancel your plan to suicide. This decision may avail you another chance of falling in love once again. May be at that time you became ready for another heart break. That was my first thought and fear to go to the path of red roses that is love. So, I had decided that I would never do it. But incidents occur especially when you don’t want them to let happen. But it did. I fall in love once again with life, with family, with nature, with country and with him.

                                                                                                                                                                        

SILENCE

It is silence subduing me

This silence is not good for anyone

It is dangerous for genocide of whole community

Let me tell you that this silence is overwhelming

It is getting vulnerable by the time passed on

And it frustrates me truly

I think it is a villain for my thoughts as it killing them from inside

It is like a quiet Tsunami that is blowing in my mind

This unbalanced everything – order and action of my mind

It is so detestable for my inner integrity

My only wish is to break this silence and move on from it….

NATURE IS LOST

Today I feel writing

Storm had come

Nature is angry

Oh! My beloved Nature be calm

My heart is unstable

Oh! I consider you my mother

So,

Dear Mother console my restless heart

Natural storm and this instability is killing me

Today is reunification day

My thoughts and words are combining

They want to penned down in golden words

This is the thing I cannot stop

They are very desperate to get out in the world

I know there is no rhyme

There is no rhythm

But I am writing

Because I feel like writing

I don’t my beloved Nature to be lost

Oh! Nature you soothe me, love me

I am your daughter

Take me in your arms

I am full of tears

Don’t let me down

It’s just you, just you, I am thinking about you!!!

SOMETIMES I THINK

Sometimes I think what would happen to me if you were not there for me

I would rather die if you won’t hold my hand in the crisis

My heart starts beating since you came in the life

Otherwise, it has become like stone which is hard but full of cracks

Cracks of wounds that might not be healed if you were not came in my life at the right time

Sometimes I think what would happen if you won’t spell the magic of your love on me

Let me tell you my love that If you were not there what kind of and how my life would be

I would rather live my life as a patient lies on a bed in comma

 I just breathe without feelings

I would live but without a purpose

“But I can’t take it anymore” I said to him.

How can I tell you my love that now I am dying of this disease

Even yours hard and passionate love can’t save me

O my lover I love you so much that I can’t see you in pain to see me in pain

So I have to hard on you to keep away you from my miseries

You may hate me for this but I always do opposite to you

And now I think I will be away for forever when you would read my last words of love